Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Daunting thoughts of the broken.

If I could start my life from scratch, would I change any of it? Like all the times I would watch my mom get hit by one of her junkie boyfriends, or seeing a grown man sit on top of an ice box with my little brother trapped in it- just pick up a knife and start swingin it! Maybe so… cause it left a darkness deep down in my soul, and for most of my life, I just haven’t known where to go with any of it. Just sit with a pen and a pad because writing is so therapeutic; my heart and soul is what you get with every line and In my mind I’m doing trapped in depth of solidarity, the man in the mirror scary because I see the monster that I become. I can’t help but feel like I’m a shoe in to ruin every positive thing I’m doing because south goes every positive thing I’m pursuing. Feeling like I’m set up to fail, my little brother trapped in a bipolar hell, and people ask me if I’m well. Well let me see- broken home? Try a broken family: two’s Rogers, one dead, and one’s in jail- just a father and a son trying to be a father to a fatherless son. The same shit that I’ve done. They say the sins of the father fall on the son, so what the hell has my biological father done? He was in my life for three years and our relationship is done and I’m supposed to pay for all the evil that he’s done? Half the time I feel like my demons have already won, because they’ve been tearing at my soul since day one

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